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yellow_tulip815
03 November 2009 @ 09:01 am
I threw dishes yesterday. I had to do it! I was so angry at things that I continue to prove to people because my father, but I got that anger out and now I know what I derserve in life. I deserve me, happy me, and I am finally ready to pay attention the little girl that has been mistreated and unloved so long. She is beautiful, cute, adorable, funny, dorky, inoccent, and alive and I am finally ready to share me with the world.

This is my first entry today. i will be back later to share more.
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Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
yellow_tulip815
09 July 2009 @ 09:13 am
I can't believe it I guess Sarah is putting another Lilth Fair together!!!!!

I am so there. I saving my pennies today cause I wouldn't miss that for the world!
 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
yellow_tulip815
02 July 2009 @ 03:17 pm
Heavenly Day - Patti Griffin
 
 
yellow_tulip815
02 July 2009 @ 01:28 pm
Cause everytime you wash your hands the band aid will get wet. Then you have to either deal with a wet band aid or put a new one on everytime! Its irritating so please try not to cut your fingers!
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
 
 
 
yellow_tulip815
29 June 2009 @ 02:22 pm
I just want to go home... Its more and more I am learning that I am becoming a homebody. I have for so long not wanted to go home but to be out and about and now things are changing and I want to home clean my room, work out, take a bath, a facial, my nails, and watch the boob tube.... Its sounds like heaven!
 
 
yellow_tulip815
26 June 2009 @ 08:35 am

Scorpio Ascendant people have a lot of presence. There is something about them that tells the world that they are not to be pushed around. Their manner commands respect, and in some cases, fear. Scorpio rising people can be quiet or loud, but they always seem powerful and determined. 

You either love or hate Scorpio rising people— they are rarely people who go through life unnoticed. In fact, some of them are confused when faced with the fact that they get such strong reactions from others. They seem to look right through people, seeing through superficiality. This can be quite intimidating to some, and intriguing to others. Scorpio rising people, in their dealings with others, look for answers by reading between the lines. Surface details are discarded when they are getting a feel for people and situations around them. 

Scorpio rising people value their privacy so much, it can border on paranoia. They have a strong need to control their environment and are experts at strategy. Rarely people who will blow their chances with impatience, they plan out their moves carefully and deliberately, relying on their awesome ability to feel out others and situations.

Scorpio rising natives are drawn to down-to-earth, natural partners. Reliability in their partner is very important. They generally look for complete commitment and have little patience with flighty partners.


The Ascendant (or rising sign) is often considered the mask one wears when meeting others. Perhaps it is most aptly thought of as the automatic responses to one's environment. The Ascendant shows our natural defenses and how we cope with day-to-day issues. The energies of the sign and condition of the Ascendant are most overt and obvious to others. The Ascendant shows an individual's first, natural reaction to new people and situations.


The characteristics of Scorpio Ascendant described above are modified by planets conjunct the Ascendant, planets that aspect the Ascendant, and the position of the ruling planet of the sign on the Ascendant. For example, a person with a Scorpio Ascendant with its ruling planet, Mars, in Sagittarius will respond to the environment a little differently than another person, also with a Scorpio Ascendant, but whose Mars is in Capricorn. (Note that Scorpio has two rulers, the other being Pluto, which is very slow-moving). Similarly, a person with a Scorpio Ascendant who also has Saturn conjunct it will "behave" differently than someone with a Scorpio Ascendant who does not have that aspect in their natal charts.


Scorpio Rising with Mars (Traditional Ruler of Scorpio) in the Signs

The following interpretations incorporate the position, by sign, of Mars, the ruling planet of Scorpio. Note that Pluto also rules Scorpio, and interpretations for Scorpio rising with Pluto in the signs follow the Mars interpretations. The sign position of Mars modifies your Scorpio Ascendant characteristics. These interpretations are from the Karmic Insight Report, and are written from an esoteric viewpoint.

The point that was on the eastern horizon at the moment of your birth is called the ASCENDANT, or rising sign. While the Sun describes your conscious direction and current life focus, and the Moon your subconscious predisposition and past, the Ascendant indicates a way of being that transcends and embraces past, present, and future. It describes the way you engage and merge with the outer world and how you bring through into life the energies depicted by the Sun, the Moon, and the rest of your birth chart. Everything is filtered through the Ascendant from an esoteric point of view. It indicates your soul's function and thus a key part of your destiny.

Scorpio Rising - General

You have keen animal instincts, a deeply instinctual and passionate nature, and access to forces that can be used for healing and regeneration - of yourself, other individuals, or society. Strong-willed and powerful in a quiet understated sort of way, you are always a force with which to be reckoned. You know intuitively where another's pain or weakness lies, and can thus be a natural healer - or a terrible enemy, if your energies are directed toward conflict. Learning to trust and follow your instincts, and to focus your will upon positive intents, are keys to fulfilling your highest destiny. Your ruling planets are Mars and Pluto.

Scorpio Rising and Mars in Libra

Your Mars is in Libra, suggesting that your urge to relate, to gain with, and to form cooperative alliances with others is an important part of your function and your fate. You are to work in tandem, as part of a team or close partnership, balancing your needs and your will with those of your partner. Your desire for harmony, beauty, and connection underlies your actions. Beware, however, of submerging your own desires and ability to act decisively on your own behalf, which can lead to concealed anger, corrosive conflict, and "hidden enemies" (in the world or in your own inner life). Be aboveboard and honest in all your dealings, also. Trying to achieve your aims covertly or through the efforts of other people is apt to backfire. Instead use your energy to bring people together, to mediate, negotiate, or create fairness in your world.

Scorpio Rising with Pluto (Ruler of Scorpio) in the Signs

The following interpretations incorporate the position, by sign, of Pluto, the ruling planet of Scorpio. The sign position of Pluto further modifies your Scorpio Ascendant characteristics. These interpretations are from the Karmic Insight Report, and are written from an esoteric viewpoint.

Scorpio Rising and Pluto in Libra

Your Pluto in Libra reveals a drive for justice, fairness, equality, and bringing the scales back into balance. You tend to see the injustices and corruption, and part of your function is indeed to bring wrongs to light. The balance of power in personal relationships is also a key concern of yours.

 

A Spiritual Interpretation of Scorpio Rising

The following interpretation of Scorpio Rising is from Your Spiritual Path Report.

"You have already taken a few steps on the spiritual path, and you have dedicated your life to your spiritual nature to some degree. The intense desire nature within you continues, however, to pull you toward the physical expression. You constantly find yourself at a turning point between pursuing a material desire and following a more spiritual inclination.

You have the capacity for major changes in your life. Others may find your decisions remarkable, as you can take a 180 degree turn with relative ease. Each of these major shifts brings you closer to understanding the unfolding plan of your spiritual life. At this time you may appear to be motivated only by material desires, but each turning takes you further on the spiritual path. If you look back, you can see that your decisions have all blended into one direction. You see the logical unfolding of spirit woven into seemingly disjointed actions and decisions.

First you test your physical appetites with food, sexual desire and physical comfort. These may become rather boring. Ambition and the desire for power increase the emotional thrill and the momentary pay-off. At the third stage you tackle mental challenges of spiritual pride. If you can transcend all three levels, you then function from a more spiritual base. You cease to seek physical emotional and mental thrills for their own sake, and use your personal power to transform your own life and to help others.

You face a tall order if you are to make spiritual progress. You need to remember your own beginnings as you seek success in any of your endeavors, spiritual or otherwise."


Scorpio Ascendant from the Cosmo Natal Report:

"You are very strong-willed and proud, but intensely private and not easy to know well. Behind your quiet exterior lies a great deal of emotional depth, sensitivity, complexity, and also fierce determination. When you want something you go after it rather quietly but insistently and wholeheartedly - and you usually get it.

You are not a person who lives lightly or superficially. You want to live passionately and intensely and are not averse to challenge, danger, or to facing the darker side of life - human pain and struggle. You function well in crisis situations and often seek them out, for you enjoy the feeling of living at full capacity.

You are very intuitive about other people and especially about their unspoken feelings and hidden motives. You usually have strong, immediate gut reactions, either positive or negative, which prove to be correct. You approach life very instinctively and are not always fully conscious of why you feel or act as you do. You also have a very strong affinity with animals - an acute sensitivity and a nonverbal kind of rapport with them.

In relation to others, you are rather cautious, sometimes even suspicious, until you get to know and trust them - and trust doesn't come easily to you. When you commit yourself emotionally to someone, be it friend or lover, you are intensely loyal and devoted to them and you also expect the same kind of unwavering, undying loyalty in return. If you are ever betrayed by someone you care deeply for, you are capable of hating and retaliating with as much fervor as you once loved. Nothing is done halfway. In fact, you are intensely involved and often jealously attached to whatever you care about, be it person, idea, or cause. There is definitely a streak of emotional fanaticism in you.

Because of your natural reserve, others may see you as something of an enigma. You are quite self-protective and often defensive. You are also very magnetic, especially to members of the opposite sex."


Famous People with Scorpio Rising:

Tori Amos (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Melissa Anderson (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Cancer)
Ed Asner (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Scorpio)
Hugo Black (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Virgo)
Beau Bridges (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
James Caan (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Taurus)
Johnny Carson (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Paul Cezanne (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Virgo)
Dick Clark (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Sagittarius)
Jeffrey Conaway (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Sagittarius)
Susan Dey (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aquarius)
Christian Dior (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Scorpio)
Michael Douglas (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Clint Eastwood (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries) 
Chris Evert (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Pisces)
Fabio (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Gemini)
John Fogerty (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Aretha Franklin (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Gemini)
Sigmund Freud (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Graham Greene (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Virgo)
Mark Harmon (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Leo)
Ed Harris (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Capricorn)
Katharine Hepburn (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Capricorn)
Victor Hugo (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aquarius)
Diane Keaton (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Cancer)
Kris Kristofferson (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Gemini)
Vicki Lawrence (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Janet Leigh (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Leo)
Charles Lindbergh (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aquarius)
Patty Loveless (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
David Lynch (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Cancer)
Cheech Marin (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Virgo)
Penny Marshall (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Gemini)
Mata Hari (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Leo)
Jack Nicklaus (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Bernadette Peters (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Leo)
River Phoenix (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Leo)
Prince (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Yves Rocher (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Pisces)
Diana Ross (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Gemini)
Gloria Steinem (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Martha Stewart (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aries)
Oliver Stone (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Loretta Swit (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Capricorn)
Bob Uecker (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aquarius)
Gore Vidal (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Libra)
Robert Wagner (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Aquarius)
Robin Williams (Scorpio Ascendant, Mars in Cancer)

 

 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
yellow_tulip815
22 June 2009 @ 08:54 am
Well now coming off our detox diet. Sunday we went over the water to go visit Tony and Raven we when to the Market and purchased some things for the BBQ. Since are trying to stay away from eating badly still we decided to get fish. When Linnea grabbed butter I immediatly removed this from her and said HELL NO! We are not coming off this diet to just jump into eating butter! Yuck! So then Linnea had previously mentioned Coconut Oil and she spoke of the advantages that she read about in the natural cures book. When we looked at the label it looke almost as bad as butter other then it was organic. But apparently this saturated fat from this also has saturated medium chain triglycerides. Furthermore around 50% of these MCT’s are made up of lauric acid, the most important essential fatty acid in building and maintaining the body’s immune system.

Apart from coconut oil, the only other source of lauric acid found in such high concentrations is in mother’s milk.

Other than consumption this crop can also be used as:

Manufacturing

Coconut oil is used in volume quantities for making margarine, soap and cosmetics.Hydrogenated or partially-Hydrogenated coconut oil is often used in non-dairy creamers, and snack foods.Coconut oil is an important Component of many industrial lubricants, for example in the cold rolling of steel strip.

Cosmetics and skin treatments

Coconut oil is excellent as a skin moisturizer and softener. A study shows that extra virgin coconut oil is effective and safe when used as a moisturizer, with absence of adverse reactions.[20] Although not suitable for use with condoms, coconut oil may be used as a lubricant for sexual intercourse,[21] though it may cause an allergic reaction in some.
Fractionated coconut oil is also used in the manufacture of essences, massage oils and cosmetics
In India and Sri Lanka, coconut oil is commonly used for styling hair, and cooling or soothing the head. People of Tamil Nadu and other coastal areas such as Kerala, Karnataka, Maharashtra and Goa bathe in warm water after applying coconut oil all over the body and leaving it as is for an hour in the belief it keeps the body, skin, and hair healthy.

Coconut oil is used in oil lamps.

In diesel engines

Coconut oil has been tested for use as a feedstock for biodiesel to be used as a diesel engine fuel. In this manner it can be applied to power generators and transport using diesel engines. Since straight coconut oil has a high gelling temperature (22-25°C), a high viscosity, and a minimum combustion chamber temperature of 500 °C (932 °F) (to avoid polymerization of the fuel), coconut oil is typically transesterified to make biodiesel. Use of B100 (100% biodiesel) is only possible in temperate climates as the gel point is approximately 10°C (50 degrees Fahrenheit). The oil needs to meet the Weihenstephan standard[22] for pure vegetable oil used as a fuel since otherwise moderate to severe damage from carbonisation and clogging will occur in an unmodified engine.

Coconut oil is currently used as a fuel for transport in the Philippines.[23] Further research into the oil's potential as a fuel for electricity generation is being carried out in the islands of the Pacific.[24][25] In the 1990s Bougainville conflict, islanders cut off from supplies due to a blockade used it to fuel their vehicles.[26]

 Aircraft fuel

During February 2008, a mixture of coconut oil and babassu oil was used to partially power one engine of a Boeing 747, in a biofuel trial sponsored by Virgin Atlantic.[27]


 

Engine lubricant

 

Coconut oil has been tested for use as an engine lubricant; the producer claims the oil reduces fuel consumption, smoke emissions and allows the engine to run at a cooler temperature.[28] As an engine lubricant, coconut oil performed better than mineral based engine oil in terms of lubricity, smoke point, flash point and resistance to oxidation. It also dissolves carbon deposits left in the engine for using mineral based engine oils that burn easily during the combustion process. It is not the fuel that leaves more carbon deposits but mineral based lubricants. It is found out that engines treated with coconut oil as oil additive produce no more or less smoke than without coconut oil.

Engine maintenance costs are reduced when compared to the use of mineral based engine lubricants. Coconut oil is also cheaper, lasting more than a year of use in your daily driven vehicle. In Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines, more and more vehicle owners have shifted to using coconut oil or palm oil as an engine lubricant. Not only is it cheaper and more abundant, it is far superior than the expensive engine lubricant presently available in the market today.

 
 
Current Mood: optimistic
 
 
yellow_tulip815
17 June 2009 @ 08:56 am
I am so proud of myself! I didn't drink last night! We went to an old freinds birthday party in the U-District to a bar called Al's, which I must say is quite a shnazy bar, to celebrate.

Happy Birthday Mel and congrats to me for having the strength to not drink! :)
 
 
Current Mood: chipper
 
 
yellow_tulip815
15 June 2009 @ 07:40 am
I also made an agreement with Linnea yesterday.... We are going 90 days with out drinking... This includes so many days that I would love to get smashed... and the whole summer but we are looking at it more as if we can't afford to get drunk there are so many bills that we need to have paid and we might want to buy a house together soon. Today is Day 2 only 88 days left to go....
 
 
Current Mood: determined
 
 
yellow_tulip815
united state of consciousness presents

Freaknight 13 Flyer
Halloween Night
Seattle 2009

Announcing Our first Headliner...


Ferry Corsten
FERRY CORSTEN
 
 
Current Mood: excited
 
 
yellow_tulip815
11 June 2009 @ 02:40 pm
I have never wanted the day to be over so badly than I do today..... Not having a bad day or anything... just really wanting to go home, pick up Jasmine, put on some comfy jammies, and just relax and play with jasmine... Its sounds so nice right now... but I have two more hours in this whole... GRRRRR!!!!! I am becoming extremely impatient!
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Current Mood: annoyed
 
 
yellow_tulip815
10 June 2009 @ 11:41 am
Well yesterday I was supposed to meet up with Kyle but when I got to the Noc Noc he wasn't there. I wasn't going to wait around for him and I wanted to go home and watch the game. Anyway I went home. I got a call from Linnea's cell phone around 6:50 and it was Kyle asking where I was. I told him that I was there at 5 and he wasn't there so I left and he told me that he was coming over. I declined and he was insistant. Then after he hung up Linnea called me and also said that James was with him, which i didn't know. I told her to tell him that he could not comeover.

He emailed me this morning being a jerk. He basically said not to contact him and some other rude things... Whatever.... He will never change.
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Current Mood: frustrated
 
 
yellow_tulip815
10 June 2009 @ 11:37 am

Well the weight is coming off slowly but surely! Another one lost and lots more to go. I worked out this morning and will be walking downtown today. We are getting cable put in next week and I am sor excited because there are so many On Demand work outs that I can do. I would really like to do the Ab and the aerobic and weights. slowly but surely I am working up to a healthy happy me. I can't wait!

 
 
Current Mood: determined
 
 
yellow_tulip815
09 June 2009 @ 10:50 am
Yesterday I walk from my work to Capitol Hill all the way up Denny. I feel so good about it. Don't get me wrong it was really hard but I did it! The one thing that is bothering me though is that the scale is not going down. I know that I am working out a lot and that I should take account that muscle weighs more than fat but still its just feels so good when that scale goes down. I will try doing that again on Wednesday or choose a new desitination to achieve, but it has to be something with the same difficulty.

I will let you know....
 
 
Current Mood: determined
 
 
yellow_tulip815
04 June 2009 @ 02:59 pm
I guess i just got lost being someone else,
I tried to kill the pain
But nothing ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around
and find myself some day

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

Would you Let Me Be Myself
Coz I'll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I'll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It's time to make my way
Into the world i knew
And take back all of these times
That I gave in to you

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

That's all i ever wanted from this world
Was to let me be me..

Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself
Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself
 
 
Current Mood: hopeful
 
 
yellow_tulip815
03 June 2009 @ 12:40 pm
I would give anything to be out of work and in the sun! Grr.... Somtimes my job is so mind numbing that I find myself getting anxious for the day to end. Driving me crazy working at this computer all day... but back to work I go cause I have plenty to do.....
 
 
yellow_tulip815
01 June 2009 @ 03:05 pm
[Young Jeezy:]
It's M.C. and Y.J.
Another hit, okay
We lookin' fine, takin' off
Saw us on a runway
On any given Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday
They try to confuse me,
I never let 'em use me

I was a girl, you was "the man"
I was too young to understand
I was naive, I just believed
Everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keepin' me there, under your thumb
Cause you were scared that I'd become much
More than you could handle,
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside
The private hell we built,
And I dealt with it
Like a kid I wished I could fly away but instead I

Kept my tears inside Cause I knew if I
Started I'd keep crying for the rest of my
Life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinking folks be tryin' to run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

Vacant inside, no one was there
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet
Once in awhile, put up a fight
It's just too much, night after night
After awhile I would just lie,
You were dead wrong, said you was right
Did what I could, just to survive
Couldn't believe this was my life,
Flickering like a candle
Doing my best to handle sleeping with the enemy
Aware that he was smothering every last part of me
So I broke away and finally found the strength to breathe

Kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinking folks be tryin' run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

Hey, hey, hey
Let's go!

[Young Jeezy:]
Hey Magnifico or should I say Magnificent?
Ain't nothing worth your happiness
And I ain't caring who you're with
Misery love company so we ain't tryin' to hang with y'all
Hurt you if ya let 'em in
Gotta keep ya sucka smilin'
Keep tryin' to play
I tell him I ain't blowin' tho
Think they want me outta here,
I tell 'em I ain't goin' tho
Side effects be drowsiness,
Loneliness,
How is this?
I think the call it hateration,
What can you prescribe for this?

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinking folks be tryin' run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
 
 
yellow_tulip815
19 May 2009 @ 10:06 am

Have you ever noticed that double toasted toast is not as good at toast that was toaster perfectly the first time?

For some reason if by chance the toast is done to prematurely and you have to re toast its now has the thicker toast taste. Call me crazy but its different!

Rachel thank you for helping me make this blogable!

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Current Mood: indescribable
 
 
yellow_tulip815
13 May 2009 @ 01:46 pm

Well my mothers story is something that I would need to work on for a very long time. Let me just say that my mom deserves everything great thing that comes her way!

She had five kids and never had enought extra cash to do anything for herself. Well today she for the very first time got her ears pierced! I am so happy that she is now getting a life.


I love her dearly!! 

 
 
Current Mood: touched
 
 
 
 

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